Home

My wife, who is an attorney (yes I realize I am sleeping with the enemy!), passed this on to me.  I thought I would share it with you, enjoy.

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a
certain  improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general
lack of  stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a
mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by
and  around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St.
Nick a/k/a/  St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would
arrive at sometime  thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were
located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal
hallucinations,  i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats,
including, but not limited  to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance,
cavort and otherwise appear in  said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as
“I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the
second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a
sustained  period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various
forms of  headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the
unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the
lawn, a  certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance.
The party of  the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House
to investigate the  cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of
wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the “Vehicle”)
being  pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately
eight (8)  reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact
was, the  previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to
the  approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal
co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid,
Donder  and Blitzen (hereinafter the “Deer”). (Upon information and belief,
it is  further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may
have been
involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer
intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences
located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the
Vehicle  was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown
origin or  nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either
express or  implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered
said House via the  chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with
residue  from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion
of the  aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was
smoking what  appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of
local ordinances  and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the
minor  children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other
small gifts.
(Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to
the  applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such
task, Claus  touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up
the chimney of  the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited
and/or served as  “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown
destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said
House,  the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:
“Merry  Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s